" I wont runaway , only cowards runaway "
- Kid Cudi
The past week has proven that two people cannot be friends if one or both are obviously in love , still . I made the decision to move on from the 'friendship' my exbf & I were attempting to have . I was trying to manage my feelings appropriately and keep things amicable between us, but to no avail . There was the question of whether or not his feelings had already changed, whether he saw a future in us, whether there was someone else for him, etc. There was his question of whether or not I was talking to other guys, whether or not I was going out with guys, whether or not I was involved with other guys. Just a bunch of ambiguity on both parts being met with animosity and disdain. That I suppose is unnecessary since we're not together. I blatantly decided to move on from the aftermath situation of our relationship, and from him as a whole. I love him out of this world, but I couldn't live each day waiting. Waiting for feelings to come back, or not. I'd rather heal now then live in high expectations only to be let down later. My past has taught me better. I can't place my life on pause, even for love. I can't carry around loads of passion for someone who doesn't want to help me carry them. Initially, I wanted to be mad and angry but couldn't, now all I can think of him are unpleasant words.
It takes a strong individual to energetically push through relational obstacles in the name of love.
It takes .01% of that energy to cowardly