Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made


Open ,

Now the love is getting treated like a step sister. Every thing is a bicker, no thing is barely a moment infused with passion like it used to be. Every truffle in the box suits your sweet tooth instead of the sweet Heart that stole it. The best isn't up to par and the worst is a deal breaker. Admittedly I string puppets whose characters are flawed, but when the curtains have closed and the spectators have gone,  
this lady still puts on a show. Intertwined by a title, bound by a night of raunch.

( .... process .... )




                 - forgot BLOGGER password
                 - turned 22 (: 
                 - finished spring semester (2 A's , 2 B's , and ugly C)
                 - yet another new job at an Answering Service
                 - boyf moves to Nevada next month



Been clandestinely planning, and planning some more these past weeks. Excited about bringing my ideas to fruition and actively reaching goals. I started a new job as a Respite Care Provider for children with special needs, delays, and disabilities. I am gracefully reaching new heights when it comes to my career path(s) so I have been enjoying that accomplishment. School is 3weeks away from its expiration date and I am going to cartwheel out of my last Final like a class act circus monkey. One week away (Wednesday) is my birthday and of course I have no plans ; I am last minute when it comes to me sometimes. I just want to eat good and feel good. Thinking about treating myself to a goodie bag because, well, I deserve it. There's so much that would suffice on my birthday, ie. a strawberry cheesecake, the 20/20 Experience, a deep tissue massage, Martin Season DVDS, a rice krispies treat the size of a pillow. Ha!

Oh, and Olive Green UGGS <3

(Ex)Boyfriend and I went through another one of our rough patches ; working on a rebuild. Interesting to see how the facets of respect, love, and endearment can make or break a relationship, as well as mend it. The idea that singles want relationships and those in them want to be bachelors tickles me. Human psyche is astonishing because we want what others want/have, obtain it, then want the former. Coming to a common ground, with clear intentions, wants and needs is rejuvenating and exciting. Mistakes and mischief warrants forgiveness and lessons learned. When all else fails, LOVE prevails. 


feigning a heart of stone . 

I want what I don't want .
typical .


I prefer to think that I have amazing photography skills ; 
only exclusive to the iPhone however


---------- CAUTION : a little vulgarity ----------

When you know your actions have the potential to hurt someone you care about, yet you continually engage in those actions anyway, that, my friend, is s-e-l-f-i-s-h.

Society places this stigma on males in relationships and their plight with monogamy, as if it is seemingly impossible. As if respect & commitment are attributes they have permission to disregard. I'm calling bullshit! I'm coming to terms with the deciding factor when it comes to boyfriend-al actions ; resting in immaturity versus manhood.

Relationships aren't marriages. No legal contract, no religious obligation, no ceremonial favors except for stuffed animals won at amusement parks. [side eye] If your feelings shift and your happiness subsides, honesty beats infidelity every single time. There's nothing more ugly than intentionally contributing to the broken feelings of someone you claim to Love. Who or what has you so anchored? Definitely not the way you feel about them. [her]

Distasteful females with low self efficacy don't complement the situation. As a woman, I understand the pressures of being single, the innate desires of wanting someone as a confidant. Not at the expense of another woman's happiness though, and definitely not at the expense of my self worth. Bitterness. Jealousy. That shouldn't be in the nature of anyone. It's a breeding ground for disaster. [especially when/if I am the butt of your envy]

Self discipline is not for kids. Restraint and the ability to have power over your words and actions always prevails. If you're not ready for the demands of commitment and all that comes with it, it seems quite intelligent to not willfully put yourself in a position where those demands are omnipresent. It's just not okay to nimble and manipulate others' emotions for your personal gain. They have a name for people like you and it begins with ASS. [this was so said in my Hannah from the HBO series GIRLS voice]

I don't like the idea of being the naive individual who believes their significant other is the exception, that they're the mature person you assume they are. Facing the reality that the one you love is a class act con artist [exaggeration necessary] is embarrassing to say the leeeeaaassst. You spent/spend time evaluating circumstances, reasons, and whether or not you are/were good enough. Truth is, that truth is, there are men who have reached manhood and the ability to assuage whims, lust, and the absence of the stroking of ego by illegitimate counterparts [aka hos]. There are unmarried men that make relationships look like a manly piece of cake. I want that cake.

"I only got one dick so I only need one chick"
(Saw this on Instagram. It was posted by a guy that has totally reached manhood)


Weekend in Vegas